Birds and Bees

Yup! We did it! We had the big talk with Ella on Saturday....and it was AWESOME!! Seriously, it went way better than I thought.

First of all I know there are those of you wide eyed and gasping. I can hear the questions now:

Isn't that too young? She is only 8.

Isn't that too much information?

Won't it just bring up things she's not ready for?

My answer to all those questions is NOPE!!

Of course, I know that each family and parent needs to do what is best for their children, but I decided this was best for us. Here are my reasons:

1- I want to be the first one she hears ANYTHING from that has ANYTHING to do with this subject. In some cases your already too late at 3rd grade, but I read that the overwhelming majority of kids have heard something about sex by 4th grade.

2- At this beautiful age they are old enough to understand the concept, but not so old that they are too embarrassed to talk about it. It's usually not on their radar, so you can put the first impressions in them yourself.

3- I want my kids to know that it's OK to talk to me about it, and anything else they may hear. I figure if I'm the primary source of information then they will come to me to clarify rumors and/or questions. Hey, I'm the one that told them about it in the first place, so it must be OK.

I could list a whole slew of reasons, but I'll send you to the source of my information. It's a wonderful little book written by the famous parents of my amazing cousin Shawni!

It is called "How to Talk to your Child about Sex" by Richard and Linda Eyre. Pretty straight forward. You can also access tips and scenarios from their incredible website Values Parenting. It was so easy and natural. I will forever be grateful for their advice.

Now for how it all went down. We had been telling her that because she was 8 years old she was old enough to learn some really great and exciting things. She kept asking us when we were going to talk about it and she was really curious and excited. A few days before our talk Paul was in on the computer and didn't notice that Ella had somehow found, and was flipping through a book we had gotten to show her a little bit about it.

The book is called, "Where Did I Come From" by Peter Mayle. I walked in to ask Paul a question just as Ella was turning to the page that shows two full page naked cartoon adults! I immediately started laughing and asked Paul if he was aware of what his daughter was doing. He saw and all three of us started laughing. I told her that this was some of the stuff we were going to talk about when we had our birds and bees talk. Then I asked her what she thought it was going to be about, and she said, "gross stuff." We all just laughed and said that it seems gross, but it's actually really exciting. It turned out to be a really good thing because it broke any potential ice and she knew it involved our bodies.

So, when the big day came, we got a babysitter for the other three kids and took Ella to lunch by herself. She decided to go to Paradise Bakery and we sat outside because there was no one else there. After the first few bites I started off with some very mild statements about how much we love her and our family, how important families are, and why Heavenly Father created the family unit. This of course led to how love can make a family grow. Then out came the book she had been perusing earlier in the week.

We really just flipped through it together and added thoughts and feelings along the way. There were a few pages that we taped together because we thought they were unneccesary at this time. (Thanks for the tip Jules) There were only a couple of times she tried to cover up a picture if someone was walking a little close to us, but she paid attention and didn't seem embarrased at all.

I was so grateful because my sweet Ella has so many other things that are more important to her that all the dumb things her parents say. I was afraid that she wouldn't even keep her attention on the subject or care. I was delighfully surprised at how mature and matter-of-fact she was about it. It really convinced me that it was the right age for her. Even though I'm sure a lot of it went over her head, it was a great start. We plan on having some follow up discussions throughout the years and hopefully that in turn will keep the lines of communication open.

So, all in all I would have to say it was a great experience...and...I'm really glad it's over!!