Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Invisible Chores

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and my contributions. Sometimes it's hard to see any accomplishments when just maintaining status quo is exhausting! I figure if my home looks pretty much like it did at the beginning of the day at the end of it, then I'm doing pretty good.
I was also noticing all the "invisible chores" around the house. These are the chores that remain invisible unless they are NOT done. You know, that laundry basket full of unfolded clean clothes sitting right in front of the door to the garage that your husband will walk through at the end of the day. If the clothes get folded and neatly put away, no one notices. But, should I leave it there in his pathway, it is a reminder of what I didn't do today. Of course I'm not saying that Paul would be irritated or have a problem with it, I'm just saying that it's VISIBLE!
This rule could of course apply to most chores like, cooking, cleaning, dishes, vacuuming, bill paying, organizing, etc. I've let all of these invisible chores get me down a lot. I mean A LOT! I'm not so good at all of them, but they are CONSTANT and NEED to be done. I was pondering this in the shower, (I've mentioned before that I get my best ideas in the bath, shower, and running) and I realized that I can relate this feeling to all the invisible jobs out there.
I mean, my shower was a result of a lot of hard work. Let me explain. There was someone (or a bunch of people rather) that had to figure out how to treat water so that it could safely be used for all of our needs. Then there are those who figured out the infrastructure to get that water to peoples homes. Then there is the plumbing that allows me to have that water at my fingertips and at whatever temperature I desire...most of the time. IT IS AMAZING!!
So many jobs are invisible until something goes wrong. It makes me want to write a letter to all those people out there working in utilities, services, and other occupations that go unnoticed. They make my life better and I don't even have to think about it.
This brings me back to my original thoughts on invisible chores. I have spent a little too much time lately feeling down about all of those chores and the lack of appreciation I feel for doing them all. My pondering in the shower made me see it in a little bit different light. This is my job at the moment. It blesses my family and they don't even have to think about it. I'm not saying that is ideal, but I'm glad that I'm improving their life. Of course, my kids will learn more and more of those chores as they get older and have more and more responsibility. This will in turn make them more aware of all of those around them that do those things that we take for granted.

I know this is a weird post, but I just wanted to document this for my own sanity. One other funny thing is that when I was searching for the right image to post with these thoughts, (everyone knows blog posts are more fun with pictures) I came across so many beautiful pictures. I was so inspired by these strong and capable women doing the daily work all women have done for centuries. (OK, a lot of men too) So, I had to put them all here throughout the post. They really make me more proud of the work I do everyday. I'm grateful for the conveniences I have, and the physical ability I have to do these things. Again, I am blessed.

30 comments:

MaryClaire Brown said...

i LOVE that post. i feel that way all the time. i get so sick of doing all of those invisible chores, and i hate that nobody notices. but, i love the perspective you just put on it all. thanks!

Rachel said...

I too LOVE this post, I've been thinking about these very things alot lately. I bet so many women feel just the same about the invisible chores. Do you think pioneer women thought about them too? Thanks for reminding us readers about gratitude, to be grateful for the abundance of blessings we have, for the efforts of those dedicated to making new innovations, conveniences, and efficiencies we enjoy every second. On another note, have I mentioned that I love your kitchen cabinets and countertops?

Unknown said...

I love the pictures you chose for your post as well. I'm a fan of impressionism in general, so it's all good.
oh, I could make a good list of my invisible chores as I'm clearly the house manager and I have few employees.

Sally said...

Great thoughts. Love the Art you chose- especially the first three.

And check you out...I am guessing rolling out sugar cookies?

Lisa Cannon said...

Great post, I loved it! I hate invisible chores. I hate paying the bills and putting the laundry away. I sometimes feel that when Mark comes home from work and wonders what I have done all day. He apprecites me so, I know. But, I still feel like I have to explain what I've done that day. Granted, I do spend a lot of time on my laptop. It's funny, I was talking to him today and my computer beeped. He said something about letting me go get back to the computer. I was caught!

queenieweenie said...

It's SO true. I feel some days like all I do is clean my kitchen over and over.

By the way...your kitchen is beautiful. Whatcha makin?

Shawni said...

I love how you described the "invisible chores." You're right, they're so invisible! Whenever I get down about them lately I think of this article. It is so awesome. You should check it out.

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/voices/000815hometemple.html

I absolutely love your shower epiphany too. I'm going to be more thankful for all we are blessed with.

Kristie Young said...

Our situation is changing a little bit at my house…My husband is opening his own law practice and is starting out in our home which means someone is going to lose their room, and everyone is going to have to work hard and be flexible until the change is complete. This has been a very life-altering change for our family. I am actually excited and really enjoy helping my husband pull together his business. However, I haven't been able to get to the "invisible chores” And boy, oh, boy everyone is noticing. I finally have a few minutes this afternoon to pull our house together…on the surface anyway. I do need to pull my brain together and connect a little socially first and that is why I am reading and commenting on your blog. I am itching to clean, organize and stock our refrigerator with good food! These are luxury services that I have missed providing and cannot wait to get back into that same old comfortable routine! I loved your thoughts and the beautiful paintings you chose to accompany them!

You asked me one time what I used to tell what grade level I am writing at. It is one of the spell check options on our version of Microsoft word. I believe we have Microsoft Word Office XP. I was thrilled to find out that this comment scored and 8.7. I finally made it to the junior high level! Oh dear, I made a small change and it bumped me right up to 9.4. I am almost in High School now. It’s about time!

Marcie said...

Spent all day doing invisible chores so that when I return home from vacation the house will be in order.

So glad I took a "computer break" to check in and remind myself that someone understands.

stacy said...

haven't had my moment in the shower yet but i'm going to work on that.

theses are the things that i struggle with most. i admire the women that can do their laundry and get it all put away nicely. i still haven't figure that one out yet. i need to get on that nefore this baby gets here and makes it seem even more crazy.

thanks for making a lot of sense here and giving me something to think about in the shower. :)

i LOVE the pictures. :)

Sorefam said...

Great post and I have to say that the best part about it was the fact that you pointed out the value and purpose in all the invisible chores.....that's what I really need to remember!

JDM said...

I loved this post. I always have the strangest thoughts in the shower. I always come out with stuff like 'Matt what if that were the last shower we could take. What would life be like after this? Would we just laugh about the old get clean in a shower and use all the water we feel days?' Is that nuts? Anyhow it just helps make me appreciate the things that we have and the way that we live. Its all just so nice.
I know that it feels like some of the things you are doing go unnoticed. And it might feel like that for a while. But when your kids get older they will see how much you do. They will get it. We all do now right. I am sure that our parents wish that we would have caught on earlier too!
And you are doing what I feel is the best thing you can for your family and especially your kids... giving them a childhood. An opportunity to learn with a full tummy and a good night sleep in a safe home. Its scary to think of all the children in the world who aren't getting those basics. Maybe I am watching to much TV but todays world scares me and makes me want to adopt a zillion kids and reminds me that we are blessed.

Ronda said...

Kara Jayne,
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and for passing my blog onto your sister. I LOVE to talk to anyone about international adoption and especially older child adoptions. Please tell your sister "congradulations" and to contact me at anytime...I would love to share. Your family is so cute...love your Ella Bella's baptism photos. You are a great blogger-someone I look up to-keep up the great work =).

Hollyween said...

Okay... I loved each and every thing you said because that is just how my mind works and I too feel sort of 'put upon' lately with all the invisible chores.

Except you're better because apparently one of your invisible chores involves dough and flour.

Anonymous said...

Great post Kara. Always love hearing your thoughts on things. You have great insight on being a wife and mother.

Christy

Mia said...

WOW - great post!! I can totally relate, and it really got me thinking about all the luxuries that I take for granted. Anyway - I use Whitney Halcomb for my babysitter - she is my newest beehive. She is sooo amazing!! I feel like Im talking to a 20 year old when I have conversations with her! She is the best babysitter I have EVER used! I highly recommend her! Plus, she keeps contact with me the whole time I am out, telling me whats going on...its really nice!

Jennie Nichols said...

Well said. I feel like I'm doing those invisible chores all day long and I have no time to do any deep cleaning or projects I REALLY wan't to do. I can't keep up! I always thought once my kids were in school I'd be able to do these things...but I've heard otherwise!
Glad you had fun on vacation, Viva Mexico!
-Jennie N.

Cheryl said...

Perfectly said! It's only when we don't do them are they noticed. Sometimes when Rich gets home I'll point out all I did that day because 1) it took a lot of time and effort to get done 2) he probably won't notice if I don't tell him and 3) everthing will be undone in less than 2 hours. Sad but true.

There are times when I wonder if one day I'll just run out of engery and give up. I haven't gotten there yet, but it's something I do think about. Hopefully by then the kids can better share the load, but you never know....

Loved your thoughts, ideas and esp. the paintings. I am such a sucker for beautiful art.

It'a amazing how not only does our house run more smoothly when we work together, but so does this entire world!

Ellie McFreaken said...

I Love the way you think! You have a way of thinking positive that is infectious! You are truly a great Mom and Wife.
The Invisible jobs are our comforts and blessings for sure!

P.S. I am glad you posted that dress site...I am going to get Ellie's baptism dress from there!

Jill said...

Great post, I loved it. I totally feel the same way...thanks for sharing, and for the reminders. We all have a lot to be grateful for!

Ronda said...

Kara Jayne,
I tried to privately email you, but my bro's computer is being stubborn...so tell you sister that I would love to meet up with her if she wants. Next week, I am available after Monday. Email me and I will give you my cell #. Hope you are having fun in the "cooler" weather.
Ronda

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing your "ah-ha" shower moment. I feel the same way so often, so now I will think of your new perspective on the subject! thank you!

Lynell said...

What a great reminder. I love all the little things I do to bless my family. Well when I actually do them. It is true, a lot goes in to running and maintaining a household.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Man I just wrote a long comment and it didn't work!

Anyway, I will say it again. This post hit the nail on the head. I couldn't agree more. However, I have noticed that after a few "off" days my husband REALLY notices my "on" days!

As much as I don't love my daily chores, I do love my job and know I'm so lucky. Lucky I got to pick what I wanted to do, and lucky it's valued. I think often that in just a matter of a few years my job will change drastically and my children will all be gone and my home will stay clean. And then I will have so much "me" time I will not know what to do with myself.

And then of course, I will wish I had a house full of people to clean for, and cook for, and be of use for.

I'm off to clean the bathroom. And I'll be thinking of you!

Sarah said...

I have spent ALL day doing invisible chores and am confident no one will even notice- but I will. Great post and perspective on it all. You have a way with works for sure. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. One that I always struggle with.

Hey, I need your email address so we can talk. I want to find out more about your friend who is moving to Valley Forge, talk photo stuff, and catch up. Hope to chit chat soon.

Kristi said...

Kara, I loved your post as well. I have been thinking lately about this,too, and how I so easily go on survival mode of taking care of the house, and not accomplishing much more formyself. But I completely agree with you--I think there is a time and season for everything. Now is the time to take acre of family, and the time will come to be able to focus more freely on ourselves...thanks for sharing your thoughts. Loved it.

Erika said...

As always, I just love your insights.

Kirkland's said...

I was just thinking about chores today and thinking how TIRED I am to do any...so instead, Chris did the dishes, put the toys away, did a load of wash and vaccumed! What a guy, I guess I should really thank him for doing my invisible chores! Great post.

Jamie said...

this is a great post with some fabulous pictures! i think every person reading this can relate with the exact feelings! in fact i almost made a post on this same topic but mine would not have been quite as nice as yours! :) there's an analogy about housework that hits the nail on the head...you know the one about stringing beads on an untied string.

sometimes when i'm feeling somewhat optimistic, i think about how hard this job must have been in the "olden days" and really, i don't have it so bad. i also truly believe that although you and your chores are invisible now, there is a point when you kids finally get it and truly appreciate it.

ps i also love that you are so thoughtful in this whole thought process that you are thinking of others in their invisible jobs!!!

you're a much better woman than me! keep it up!

heather said...

That was an amazing post. I must say I was born missing the domestic diva gene so housework is extra hard. I realized when we had our last child how much family really does appreciate even the little things. The home would be much different without a mom's hands.